THE CHIEF

The Chief, more commonly referred to as the authoritarian parent, is the one who most closely follows traditional parenting styles.

You have high expectations for your children and are not afraid to enforce them with punishments. You ensure that your children follow the rules and, because of that, they are often praised for being well-behaved and respectful. 

Your children tend to be high achievers and they work very hard to do well in their academics, extra-curriculars, and life in general. You work to instill a sense of pride in hard work that will last long after they are grown.

While these are certainly good outcomes of authoritarian parenting, there are also some downsides.

While it is good to have high expectations for your children, without proper support to achieve those expectations, your child may feel inadequate, resentful, and even struggle with low-self esteem.

It’s also great to know that your children can be depended upon to obey instructions, especially when the instructions are intended to protect them from harm. However, blind obedience without critical thinking skills could lead them to follow the wrong people later in life.

Enforcing strict rules with little or no flexibility and giving harsh punishments may lead children to rebel against their parents as they get older and acquire more freedom.

But the good news is, there are some things you can do to improve in the areas where authoritarian parenting falls short!

First, decide if there are some rules and boundaries you can safely let go of or loosen up on a bit. You don’t have to let your child rule the house, but it is valuable to give them some opportunity for input and feedback. 

It’s also important to let them make some mistakes in a controlled environment where they can learn through experience (instead of harsh punishment).

Finding a healthy balance between discipline and age appropriate freedom is so essential to raising your children to be happy and healthy adults!

Second, know that we all make mistakes as parents. Not a single one of us is perfect. We’re all human and we all have bad days, get cranky, frustrated, short-tempered, and a host of other things. 

But when you’re tempted to believe that you’ve let your child down or that you’re causing lifelong damage, remember Romans 5:3-4

In other words – our failures (and our subsequent amends) help us and our children develop endurance, strength, and character – all of which can lead them to an abundant life.*

Of course, we should discipline our children. But it’s essential to discipline with gentleness and respect. You must also give yourself (and your children) grace when you (or they) don’t quite meet the standards you have set (because, let’s face it, we all have sometimes unrealistically high standards).

You are rocking this mom thing! Be easy on yourself and know that your kids are blessed to have you as their momma. <3

*Disclaimer: This is not meant to justify abuse. If you know someone who is mistreating or abusing their children under the guise of discipline, teaching, or religion, please report it to authorities immediately.